Mighty Mighty TOBE Boys

July 14, 2012 by JeremyJWB

Every year it begins basically the same way, the air surrounding the camp is full of apprehension and nervous excitement. As the initial campers arrive, the first question is always something similar: “What are the other campers like? Are they nice, friendly or are they mean?” As the week progresses this apprehension gives way to jubilation and by the end of the week no one wants to leave. Even these strong, young-adults tear up as they say “Goodbye” to their new friends. At its core, TOBE is about youth development; giving young Romanian men the added boost in strengthening and expanding their characters while building other important life skills. But TOBE is so much more of an experience than what is summed up by its mission statement. As a volunteer participating in TOBE for the second time, I can honestly say that both of my experiences with the weeklong, overnight camp have been the highest points and most rewarding of my entire Peace Corps service thus far.

The avid 27Luni reader may remember the several part series I wrote last year about TOBE (Teaching Our Boys Excellence) and they’ll remember that TOBE is based on the GLOW (Girls Leading Our World) model which was invented here in Romania by Host Country Nationals and Peace Corps Volunteers working side by side. This time around I will spare you the history lesson and just focus on what we accomplished at this year’s camp. As in the past, the camp’s facilitators have a high-level plan for the week, giving each day a different theme and from there we work to fill in each day with relevant activities. This year, the days were set up in the following manner:

Monday – Teambuilding and Trust Exercises
Tuesday – Field Trip Hike to Creasta Cocoșului and visit to Merry Cemetery
Wednesday – Sex, Gender and Race discussions
Thursday – Leadership and Community Building
Friday – Community Project Development and Implementation

Additionally, the location of the camp shifted from last year’s village of Agaș to Lacul Apa (Water Lake) near Seini, in-between Baia Mare and Satu Mare in the northern Romanian region of Maramureș. Like any place, this new site had its advantages and disadvantages. First of all, and perhaps most obvious, the camp was situated directly on the banks of a beautiful clear water lake, which needless to say was hugely enjoyed by the campers and an easy way to cool off from the summer sun. The artificial, man-made sandy beaches were developed by private businessmen, who are in the process of turning this area into a sort of resort for those living in the nearby big cities. Everyone must pay to enter the grounds, whether on foot or by car, with additional fees for boats, jet skies and campers. The well maintained property has spots to pitch a tent to camp under the stars, small one-bedroom cabins if visitors are looking for more protection from the elements and a brand new two-story hotel complete with restaurant for those not in the mood to “rough it” at all. Having arrived on a Sunday and stayed through until the following Saturday, I can attest that this lake is mostly for weekend warriors as its population swells significantly on Saturday and Sunday, only to wither during the week. The far side of the lake is skirted with well-spaced, uniquely architected private homes that offer owners a welcome summer getaway; I’ve been told the lake freezes over in the winter. And, in the middle of the lake is a small, tree and reed covered island…more on that later.

The two biggest challenges we had with this wonderful new site, unfortunately, were quite major. There was no affordable drinking water and no affordable food supply. This meant we had to bring in barrels of water everyday filled from a well in Seini several kilometers away and that all three daily meals had to be driven in, also from Seini. Had there been an emergency of the dehydration variety, water could have been bought, for a price, at the local magazine, but this would have been prohibitively expensive for the entire week. The collateral downfall to these challenges is that one of our camp facilitators, Nicu Romaniuc an HCN, was busy running logistics all week and couldn’t participate in many of the sessions. This was very unfortunate as Nicu always a lot to offer as he draws from his many years of experience as a parent, Romanian Scout leader and professional entertainer.

In addition to Nicu, we also had an encore presence by the talented HCN Adrian Ruso whose skills with project management and event building are always in high demand. Beyond the two native Romanians on hand, we also had five Peace Corps Volunteers. Ester Dela, the sole female representative in the group who we have to thank not only for her significant input into the race/gender/sex discussions but also for her tireless fundraising to make the camp possible. The solitary representative from Peace Corps Romania Group 27 was Brad Ludlow, the PCV veteran of the group; Brad was responsible for organizing the camp from the outset and for coordinating the daily program with Adrian. Supporting the rest of the team included Theron LaBounty skilled linguist, guitarist and life skills orator, Michael Ross our American Eagle Scout extraordinaire and me.

Although the camp officially began on Monday, the facilitators were scheduled to arrive two days before, on Saturday, to help with programming, logistics and physical camp setup. Campers then began to arrive on Sunday, depending on their parents, bus and/or train schedules. Some of the participants had very long travel times from far points in the country, many even taking overnight trains to arrive on time. Personally, I spent most of the hot summer day sweating and trying not to get sunburned as I erected all of the tents, of which we had a sufficient eight to sleep our twenty campers. By the time Sunday night rolled around we were well prepared to get things underway the next morning.

As every other day, Nicu ferried in our breakfast of milk/cereal, bread/nutella and orange juice from Seini and had it on the tables before the 8:00 a.m. mealtime. The first day of camp is often one of the most challenging as the campers are still getting to know each other and have yet to build a cohesive group. That’s why we like to spend the first day breaking the ice, getting to know one another, and building teams. Right out of the gates, we had the campers line up in order of their birthdays; the challenge being that they had to do this without talking aloud. Once lined up from youngest to oldest we had them count off to form four groups that were generally spread out by age and region. This helped to ensure the teams were evenly matched. After the groups were formed we assigned them a PCV as individual group counselors and then separated them and allowed time to build a team identity, to establish a team name and to write a team chant. Ester then presented a chores/work table that she had created on flip chart paper that divided out camp clean up responsibilities evenly among the four groups. Many of our participants come from wealthier backgrounds where Mom or Grandma does everything around the house, while others come from families where they must work on the farm. Regardless, from the start, it was important that we communicated with everyone that they would have daily chores and would be responsible for the cleanliness of the campsite.

With the camp rules out of the way and work details assigned, it was time to have some fun while beginning to build bonds between the campers through a series of games and activities. Without covering every single one, I’ll highlight a few of my favorites. Keep in mind these may have different names than you are familiar with, and in some instances I’ve made up my own names as my memory fails to recall the real ones. “Group Stand” is an activity where 4 or more members of a group sit shoulder-to-shoulder with their backs facing the center. They then must lock elbows and attempt to simultaneously stand up. Rarely does a team get it on the first try as they find their group footing. In reverse, this game can be played with a larger group of students, which are all facing each other, into the circle. In “Touch the Branch” each team must devise a way to have one member of the group touch a branch (or other object) that is 3 meters (or some other dimension depending on team size) off the ground. In many cases, this involved lifting their lightest member into the air towards the branch. With “Blind Trust” each member of the group, in rotation, is blindfolded and lead by the rest via a random path to a tree on the opposite side of the playing area and then back again to the starting position. After a few extra spins, the player is un-blindfolded and told to figure out which tree they were taken to. The idea here is that each player must trust the rest of the group not to trip them up or run them into a tree. Perhaps my favorite, the “Submarines in the Dark” is from last year and entails each group in competition with the other groups. All team members, save one, are blindfolded and lined up with their hands on the shoulders of the person in front of them. The person in the front is the torpedo and the person in the back (only person without a blindfold) is the captain, with everyone in the middle forming the rest of the submarine. Each team is then taken to a different part of the playing field by their PCV counselor and instructed to sink the other submarines with their torpedo. The captain must guide his submarine with a series of hand tapping signals on the shoulders of the person immediately in front of them, which then relays the signals forward. The game continues until only one submarine of the four is left. Finally, the favorite among the group was the “Trust Fall.” For this activity a location is selected in which one person can fall from a relatively higher plane than the others, for example a table top, boulder, or in our case a railing. The whole group then forms two rows, with each row facing the other. The trusting volunteer than climbs up above the rest, asks if everyone is ready to catch him, then yells out “Trust fall” and falls backwards into the arms of the group. Because of the dispersal of weight throughout the whole group, it’s an easy task to catch one falling person. By the end of the day everyone knew and trusted each other more than they would have imagined upon arrival to the camp. In many cases, this first full day is the beginning of potentially life-long friendships.

Every year the facilitators like to take the campers off site for a field trip, usually this involves a famous landmark or is something of otherwise important cultural substance. This year, that day happened to fall on Tuesday. From the onset, we had planned to go for a hike, visit a war museum and stop by the Merry Cemetery, but we were, perhaps, a little overzealous from the beginning and/or simply miscalculated how long the hike would take; thus, in the end, the museum had to be cut from the itinerary. Regardless, the day was fun and action packed. First we drove for about an hour to the head of the trail that would take us to Creasta Cocoșului. This translates to the funny looking thing on the top of a rooster’s head, whatever that is called. Sure enough, after hiking for a couple of hours through truly amazing Romanian countryside and picking wild blueberries to eat, we came to the base of a large rock outcropping that, indeed, looked like the top of a rooster’s head. It was here that I figured we were finished and would be turning around, but our fearless leader, Nicu, encouraged us to not only press on but to climb this shear rock face without equipment. As unnerving as the whole experience was, it was at least as equally rewarding to be standing up there, seemingly on top of the world. For better or worse, I was given the assignment of staying at the very top as Nicu guided smaller groups to the summit for individual photo-ops. This gave me plenty of free time to soak up my surroundings as I waited; at first basically terrified and then, in the end, fairly content with the experience. I competed with the clouds for a 360-degree view of the surrounding Maramureș region, felt a cool breeze, and could faintly hear goat bells in the distance. This was definitely one of those experiences that will stick with me for a lifetime.

Once everyone experienced the pinnacle of Creasta Cocoșului and had their commemorative photo taken, we regrouped at its base in an open grassy field with a still amazing view. There, Michael led a discussion on leadership as it had been explained to him through his experiences as an American boy scout. Following this, we began the long trek back down the hillside, many in the group thoroughly winded and now slow in pace. Detecting Nicu’s growing discontent with the slow progress we were making on our return trip, Ester began singing with the boys to give them some extra pep. Picture this: a small in stature, though big in soul, Filipino-American woman barking call and response chants at a group of tired teenage boys. Absolutely priceless. One song that remains with me, she seemingly made up on the spot:

Every where we goooo
People wanna knoooow
Who we are, where do we come from
So weee tell them
We are the TOBE Boys
Mighty Might TOBE Boys
We are the TOBE Boys
Mighty Might TOBE Boys

Once back to the bus we made our way down the twisty mountainside road and across Maramureș to the city of Sighet where we grabbed lunch before pressing on to the Merry Cemetery. Now this is no usual cemetery. It’s highlighted in all of the Romanian tourist videos and maps as being a destination point for travelers. Read the Wikipedia page for more detail, but to sum it up, each tombstone is hand carved and painted with an image and words to go along with your life and/or death. Many of the images depict death from alcoholism or through military service, while others show the coffin’s occupant as having drowned or being hit by a train. Each inscription is written in an old form of Romanian, akin to old English. So much of the text is hard for even Romanian’s to understand, however, many of them are quite poetic in nature. After another couple hours in the bus we all arrived home, exhausted from the day’s events, but a little stronger in character from tackling the climb to the top of Creasta Cocoșului and learning about one way in which Romanian’s honor their dead.

Wednesday proved to be a much heavier day with discussions on topics related to race, gender and sex. Beyond the technical lessons about equality, race relations, STD’s, etc., we also had a couple of interactive activities that I thought went over very well. The first was our introduction of the “Sex Box.” Seeing as how teenagers can often button up when it comes to asking questions of a sexual nature we created a kind of comment box where campers could write a question or comment and place it anonymously in the box. To encourage participation we required everyone to put something in the box even if his card was blank. We also all contributed as facilitators to the box and left it out overnight so people would have time to think up questions. Even with all of this I really didn’t expect much in quantity or quality of submissions, so I was surprised when the campers filled the box to almost overflowing with well thought out questions. Of course, we had a few blank cards, but the vast majority were legitimate concerns ripe to be addressed and discussed. Even during the open discussions our 14 to 18-year-old campers were incredibly well behaved and took the session seriously. Little did I know they would continue to impress as the day went on. Next on the agenda was our condom demonstration, I thought without a doubt this would be a disaster of gags, jokes and misbehavior, but again I was dead wrong. It went incredibly smoothly, short of a few chuckles, but who wouldn’t curl up a smile at a facilitator holding an unwrapped condom and a bright yellow banana. It all started with a question from Brad “Do you think I can put this condom over my hand? How about over my head?” From there the students were amazed at how big the condoms could be blown up like balloons; honestly, I was surprised, too. The idea here was simply to get them comfortable with the idea of condoms, since the more comfortable they are with them, the more likely they are, perhaps, to use them. Then Brad led a demonstration on what to look for in wrapped condoms to ensure their quality, checking the date, the wrapper, etc. He then demonstrated on a Banana how to properly put one on and take it off. We then broke up into our teams and as counselors helped each student go through the same process. I definitely believe that these morning sessions were beneficial for everyone and even eye opening for some.

On Wednesday afternoon, we had yet another life changing experience, for me at the very least. Nicu had come up with the idea of a challenge in which the students have to swim from one of the beaches out to the island; we are talking a 250-meter swim in open water. Under normal circumstances I would have outright refused this idea. In America we would have needed all kinds of waivers and even after that would have had countless calls from parents chastising the idea. But things work a little differently in Romania, kids are allowed to test their limits in ways I never witnessed in the States. So that morning, before all the sex stuff, Theron, Nicu and I boated out to the island to create a landing area and to clean off a place to relax once we all arrived. After an hour of cleaning with saws we had a decent size area cleared out, certainly sufficient for the group. Theron and I then hid messages in bottles for each of the four groups to find, adding a layer of complexity and intrigue to the adventure. That afternoon, a few of the smaller (and a couple bigger) kids put on life vests and a couple counselors manned a paddleboat and an inflatable dingy for an added measure of security. When the time came, we all stood on the small strip of beach and looked out towards the island, unable to even see the landing zone because it was slightly around the corner. Rolling in above us was a dark set of storm clouds that alternated black shadow and bright sunshine on the rippling water. Being propelled by the sheer force of mutual silent peer pressure alone we all jumped in the crisp cold water and started to cut our way through. Knowing the basics of how to swim, but not having ever really done it, I quickly learned that there was no way I’d make it across if I didn’t alternate strokes. So I switched from free style to breaststroke to butterfly, and switched the hard work between my legs and arms at intervals. A peaceful meditative exhaustion rolled over me, as I lay on my back unable to see but only to feel the direction in which I was going. With my ears submerged and the waves lapping over my forehead I looked up at the small sunny break in the dense clouds and truly felt for a moment how amazing life could be. I can only hope that our campers had a similar experience. Many, understandably, had to take breaks and hold onto the paddleboat to catch their breath, but everyone made it across, there and back. On the island, after the campers found their secret (though identical) message of congratulations Nicu led us in a long moment of silence, giving everyone an opportunity to reflect on what we had just accomplished. That’s about the time we saw the first streak of lightning and heard the loud clap of thunder. We now found ourselves in the unfortunate position of standing on a small island in the middle of a lake during a thunderstorm. Lucky for us, Thor must have been impressed by our TOBE campers, because he spared us his wrath. Once the storm passed, the campers jumped back in the water and made the return journey. Needless to say the dinner table had an exhausted, but proud, quietness about it that night as the air of pushed boundaries hung over us.

After a good night’s sleep, we rose the next morning to take on the challenges of leadership development. Adrian led the session, which turned out to be an elaborate role playing game. Each camper drew a role at random from a hat. There were a King and his two advisors, financial and public relations. Then there were four group leaders, each with a different agenda — a priest wanting to construct a new church, a teacher who wanted to build a new school, a farmer who thought agriculture needed to be expanded and a businessman who wanted to open a brothel (yeah, I know, strange). Then the rest of the campers had varying other roles in the community. One was even a courtesan, whose job was to please the King (I know, even stranger). Each camper’s role was given a description of what they cared most about, what their life situation was and how they were supposed to act in character. Then as a group, a larger scenario was read to everyone. The game was played by giving the King time to analyze the situation of the Kingdom with the assistance of his aids. In the meantime the Priest, Teacher, Farmer, and Businessman had to win followers to their cause and then after a set time each had to plead his case to the King in the hopes of receiving the money they needed to meet their aims. In the end the King made the best decision that he could under the circumstances, with no absolute correct answer to the scenario. This activity was an absolute riot to watch unfold. Campers all took their roles very seriously and got fully into character.

Thursday afternoon was definitely my favorite event. Like last year, the campers had designed posters and put them up around town, encouraging people from the surrounding villages to come to the soccer field to learn American Football and Ultimate Frisbee with the TOBE Campers and American Volunteers. We got there a couple hours early, taught the campers how to play these games and then practiced for a bit while we waited. It was an absolutely beautiful afternoon, with a perfect temperature for playing sports and bright fluffy white clouds lumbering around low in the sky. The soccer pitch was surrounded by tall stalks of corncobs, which made the whole scene reminiscent of the movie Field of Dreams. We never know how many people to expect for an event like this, but are always surprised by how many actually show up; we definitely had dozens. The true magic for me of TOBE is what happens next. You take teenagers who are generally stereotyped (often rightfully so) as self-centered and egotistical; you teach them a new skill; and, then, you give them the responsibility to teach others and they absolutely soar. Rather than forming teams and playing to win, they intentionally included people from the village; the chubby kid that couldn’t run, or the little girl that couldn’t catch, or the mother who couldn’t throw and they actively encouraged each of them to participate. Everyone got to catch the Frisbee, and everyone got to throw the football and everyone had an absolute blast doing it. That is how you build bridges, my friends.

As an important side note to this community event: As villagers started to arrive, many of our campers rushed over to hide their belongings. One then came up to me and said “Jeremy, some of them are gypsy, you must put your camera away in a safe place or it will be stolen.” I responded simply that I wasn’t concerned about it being stolen and to let the camera be on the bench. As we wrapped up the day’s events, later back at the campsite, I asked everyone to raise a hand if they had had something stolen earlier that day. Although no hands went up, their shame certainly did. It was a poignant final comment on a weeklong conversation we’d been having on relations with the Roma community.

The final day was dedicated to teaching our campers about community project development; how to identify and target challenges in your home communities; and, then, how to create a plan to get out awareness and how to build a network to address those challenges. We did this in a practical manner by having the campers go out into the beach area and identify potential challenges or areas for improvement. We, then, had them come back to camp and create short newspaper articles discussing the issues and potential solutions. We also had another role-playing activity that afternoon where we pitted each group against each other in a race to fight off or support a fake oil company that wanted to start drilling in their now beloved Lacul Apa.

As is tradition, we closed out the week with a surprise campfire that Nicu had organized. All of the counselors chipped in to buy chocolate and crackers to add to the marshmallows Ester had already brought for S’mores. Then we collected firewood and made our way to the same beachhead from where we had started our swim the afternoon before. The kids sang songs, acted out a few skits we taught them and went around individually thanking all of the facilitators for their contribution to making this camp possible. As we finished off the S’mores and put out the fire we looked up and noticed that above us were laid out more stars than I had honestly ever seen before. We were at once in a deeply remote place, far from the conveniences of the city, and yet also surrounded in the camaraderie that we had built throughout the week. Based on my experience with TOBE over the past two years, I can honestly address any initial participants’ concerns with “I can guarantee you that all the other campers are going to be just as friendly and amazing as you are.”